Has the concept of yourself become the worst enemy? You might already realize that when you’re failing it’s because of a limitation somewhere, that’s stalled you out. But did you know that most limitations are ones that you’ve put on yourself, most of them without you even realizing it? Identifying negative beliefs is an empowering way of becoming aware of your unconscious mind, and realizing your need to change. This article will focus on (6) unconscious thoughts that limit your success, and are continuing to hold you back from being who you desire to be.
Someone Doesn’t Like Me
We all desire to be liked, but the truth is that not everyone is going to like me. Sticks and stones, but names will never hurt me? It seems like it doesn’t matter how many compliments a person gets, if there’s one criticism, you’re probably going to dwell on it. Our perception of how someone thinks about us can shake us in our core, and become paralyzing to our moving forward. Reputation becomes the enemy of our development when someone gives us a negative review, or talks about our faults to others. That one negative comment might even be holding you back from ever trying again.
I Do Everything Wrong
Until we become aware of this happening, we may not even recognize or hear ourselves saying it. This one statement is a misbelief right out of the gate. No one can do everything wrong. The fact that you’re here reading this says you’re doing something right, or at least on the path of being right. Perfection is not found through doing everything right, Knowing with certainty that you are already made perfectly. This “I do everything wrong” belief is an example of that ‘all or nothing’ thinking that looks at one mistake or error and using that to determine that you’re not able to succeed no matter how hard to you try.
Anyone Could Have Done That
Egocentric beliefs can be powerfully deceptive. False humility could be one of the ways that a state of mind creates an inferiority, or even superiority complex. By downplaying your role, you deny your abilities, and this belief will often take the form of inaction. The balance between inferiority and superiority is neither, but just being. There’s a time for modesty certainly, but when you take this too far, you start thinking you can’t do things well on your own, thereby limiting yourself.
I Failed Last Time
Although In this case, you’re certain that one failure is automatically going to lead to another. This kind of over generalization limits you by making you think that previous experience always has to affect current performance, regardless of what you’re doing differently. I once met a man who was a very successful consultant. In our conversations he revealed why he was in such high demand. He had failed so many times in the past that companies paid him to share his experiences and avoid the results of his failures. A reporter once asked Edison how it felt to fail 1,000 times trying to build the light bulb. Edison replied that he had not failed 1,000 times, but had found 1,000 ways that did not work. There is only one way to achieve a desired result of success, and that is by going through failure, not avoiding it. Actually, by failing faster, and embracing it as part of the journey, success will be inevitable.
I Can’t Do It
The truth is that it is easier to say I can then I can’t. (just look at how it is spelled and uses fewer letters to pronounce.) By assuming you can’t before you even try, you’ve already guaranteed your failure. What we focus on expands, and I can’t is one of the best ways to make failure a certainty. With this kind of brain blockage, you’re probably not going to work very hard if you do press on, because subconsciously, you’ve already determined that it’s not worth the effort.
This Just Feels Off
Feeling is really a key part of being, when it is applied properly in our belief, but by relying on our negative emotions to act as a barometer of our success, you’re not likely to get very far. New things aren’t going to feel right the first time you do them. Most times you’re in new territory it’s pretty normal to feel uncomfortable or like things aren’t working out right. There is a better way to feel the reality you have imagined being true, and we will dive more into that in another article.
The most important lesson is learning that we identify ourselves as human beings and not human doings. What we are doing is not nearly as important as who we are being. Being is rooted in our belief, and we will be doing as we believe. Start by hearing yourself say “I Am”, savoring what this really means, and how it identifies who you really are.
I find visualizing a powerful tool for change. One of my favorite is imagining a powerful boat making its way across an expanse of water. When I as the captain walk to the front of the ship I see where I am going, and when I walk to the back of the boat, I see where I have been. As I look from the back of the boat I notice the wake in the water, and see it fading far off into the distance. As the ship turns, I realize that the direction is not being controlled by the wake, but from another location in the boat. I hurriedly move back to the front of the boat and enjoy the journey.
Concepts of yourself are the beginning of belief. If we believe that we are who we have been, we will continue to be who we are. If we accept that we are a result of the concept we have been, then we can accept this and choose to remain, or move forward being who we desire to be. There is always room to learn more, become more, and enjoy the journey. Rooted in a burning desire to change are the observations, perceptions, and awareness of who we have been, and are now at the moment.
The ability to transcend is first identifying negative beliefs such as the ones described above. In understanding the messages that you send to yourself, you likewise start understanding why you have certain limitations. By paying attention to self-talk, you’re better able to push past this point into the possibility of success. It’s all a matter of listening to what you have to say.
Be sure to engage a dialogue with me through the comment section below. I look forward to reading about your experiences, struggles, and success!